President's Corner - Happy ThanksGiving

Dear PoliteChild families, supporters, and friends:

The holidays are looming now that the Great Pumpkin Day has come and gone. And, for a lot of you, with the holidays comes fear: fear that your children are going to run amuck.

Now, how do I know this? Well, the number of web searches or email messages about kids’ holiday manners, what to do at the big family dinner, or even responding to party invitations has really increased in the last two weeks.

It’s not surprising that we are all trying to have a happier holiday season. It’s expected of us, for heavens sake. Look at Hallmark, look at the TV ads. So, we’re encouraged to buy, cook, eat, drink, and no matter what, be merry!

If you spend any time watching the TV, or reading the newspaper, shopping online, etc. you will definitely get the impression that the merriment factor is directly proportional to how much money you spend on food, gifts, and decorations. You’re not having a happy holiday if you aren’t trying to blow everyone’s socks off. Sky’s the limit – “after all, it’s the holidays.”

While it’s completely acceptable to indulge a bit at this time of year, it’s helpful to keep in mind the other people around us and who might be watching. Parents are the most important role models for their kids, so what lessons are they learning if we go overboard and spend or party beyond our limits. “Bah, humbug” you say: that’s what credit cards are for. In the December issue of Parents magazine (see more below about this issue!) the article “I Want It” states that, on average, parents spend $315 per child on gifts over the holidays. I don’t know about you, but there will not be a grand dropped on kids’ gifts in my house.

As a society, we have developed this "entitlement" mentality that says we DESERVE to have everything we want and that, if we can't buy it ourselves, it's our due to have someone give it to us. We don't appreciate what we have, and, as a result, aren't happy unless we have "more."

What our kids need to learn is that we are NOT entitled to mass volumes of stuff and that "stuff" doesn't make us happy. When we are given something, we should appreciate that it took someone time, effort, and perhaps money to provide this something to us. We don't realize how much we really have unless we teach our kids that. Our children don't know, by themselves, that things we take for granted ?like a good education, like nice homes and warm clothes, like enough (too much!) food to eat, books to read, electricity ? are not universally available to everyone. If our children don't understand that, and are taught to appreciate even these basic things, and show gratitude when they receive something, they’ll lead a very shallow life because all they will be looking for is more, more, more. A mass-consuming society that is happy with what it has for about as long as it takes to burn out the first set of batteries.

And, it’s not the stuff that makes holiday memories so special. Quick, how many of you can name your most important gift you received when you were…say, eight years old? Probably not many; I can’t. But, what we do tend to remember, and wish to recreate, is that homey “togetherness” feeling that is picture-perfect for a Norman Rockwell cover. Think back to “A Charlie Brown Christmas” where Charlie rejects the shiny, plastic and foil Christmas trees because a Christmas tree should bend and smell. The holidays are about spending time together, seeing family and friends you haven’t seen in a while, sharing a meal and lots of laughter. These are the things we remember.

In a season where our senses are constantly assaulted by commercialism, stop to consider those who don’t have “more,” who don’t even have “enough.” There are more of them this year than in many years in our memory. Maybe the garland should be cranberries and popcorn this year instead of shiny foil, with the money you saved given to someone in need. Or stop in to a retirement home or convalescent hospital and bring a bouquet of flowers and give it to the first person you see. Give of yourself this season – of your heart, of your caring, of your abundance.

After all, it is Thanksgiving and we have so much to be thankful for!

Corinne Gregory
President and Founder, The PoliteChild, Inc.

P.S. As always, you can reach me at corinneg@politechild.com with your feedback and comments.

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